Dedication for Valentine's Day: Brett Michaels
Even though you have been searching for love on reality TV for a long time (3 seasons of reality TV is like 15 years in real life) I have developed a strange attraction to you. I enjoy the "sneak peaks" I get to have randomly when you finally take off your hat and we as television viewers get to decipher if your hair is real, fake, thinning, extensions or not. It's like you are calling out to little ole' me to discover this mystery. I like it when you are having your interview and your speech is so mature and then you end up talking about boobs and whiskey and threesomes and then I die a little inside, but then you go back to having a mature conversation. It's like my heart is in a tiny rollercoaster full of hello kitty tattoos, miller high lifes, outdated giant plastic circle earrings, and herpes.
I hope your Valentine's Day is STD free!!